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    親愛的...你還不知道


    親愛的C,給你打完電話后我開始看小說。
    就是網上的那些一層樓一層樓堆起來的不知道是真是假的小說。
    我看到了32,他們應該算是在一起了。
    我覺得我應該能從別人的幸福里看到點希望什么的,可是你也知道這些東西不是說來就來了的。
    還是要人給的。
     
    我很懷念兩周前在外面混的日子。
    身體很累,但是什么都不用想。
     
    他們管我叫小朋友。
    他們覺得我什么都不懂,很純潔,很善良,很天真,很可愛。
    我知道多半是恭維,但是很受用。
    我只是惶恐,不安,空虛,迷惘,膽小,懦弱,偽裝自己。
    我不是小朋友。
    我都有在簽名檔寫點話給誰,但是誰誰都不會知道。
     ...,那是因為我每一秒都用來想你。
     
    今天不該下雨的時候下雨了,我很難受。
    和昨天晚上差不多的原因。
    我想起來前幾天下大雨的時候,我寫了日志草稿沒有發表。
    最后一句是,萬千情意總被雨打風吹去。
    竟然欲哭無淚。
     
    剛來這里的時候,我走過灑滿陽光的草坪,我說我很想be excellent。
    可是現在我也不怎么那么想了,be excellent,沒什么盼頭。
    是的,我覺得這樣子的生活沒有盼頭,沒有激情,沒有動力,沒有我想要的,沒有盡頭。
    我也不是一無所有,只是親愛的,你還不知道。
     

    Comments (1)

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    Beanwrote:
    鱼哥...
    Jan. 9

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